


Fire

by kiite



Series: Blackbirds and Beeforce [5]
Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! 5D's, Yu-Gi-Oh! ARC-V
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pyrophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-19
Updated: 2018-03-19
Packaged: 2019-04-04 14:35:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14022369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiite/pseuds/kiite
Summary: Sometimes, it's hard to move on from the past.





	Fire

“What do you want to make for dinner tonight?” Shinji asked Crow as they walked home from the grocery store. They were both holding numerous bags, filled to the brim with various ingredients for meals for the entire week. Crow was lucky that Shinji had the evening off; he always enjoyed cooking together with him. The kids also always loved having Shinji be able to eat dinner with them.

Just as Crow was about to answer, a loud explosion sounded from somewhere behind them. They both spun around in surprise as one of the more isolated houses further down the street burst into flames. The wooden exterior was quick to catch, making the house a massive fireball. Shinji was pulling out his duel disk to contact the police, but Crow couldn’t take his eyes off the flames.

Suddenly, he wasn’t in the street anymore. He was back in Satellite, fifteen years old, watching the warehouse burn. Feeling the heat choke him as he desperately tried to rescue Pearson, crying as he realized all his efforts were futile. Shaking as Pearson commanded him to take the Blackbird and run, to forget about him. Sobbing. Afraid. Useless.

Crow wasn’t sure how long he was standing there unresponsive, but it must have been a concerning amount of time, because when he came back to his senses Shinji was looking into his eyes, extremely worried. He had his hands gently placed on Crow’s shoulders and was speaking to him, though Crow hadn’t been hearing anything he had been saying. As his head cleared, Crow started to process Shinji’s words.

“-ou okay? Crow? Is everything alright?” Shinji’s voice was gentle but edged with apparent panic. Crow couldn’t blame him; the fire department had arrived and was already putting out the inferno, so he must have been out of it for a while. He sighed and closed his eyes, putting his hand on Shinji’s and gingerly removing them from his shoulders without letting go.

“I’m fine. Just… tired, is all. Sorry if I worried you.” Crow gave his boyfriend the most convincing smile he could manage, but even Crow could tell it wasn’t very genuine. The worried look didn’t leave Shinji’s face, but he could tell that Crow didn’t want to talk about it, so he moved back over to where he had set his bags down and picked them up. The rest of their walk home was in a somber silence.

* * *

 

Every night for the following two weeks, Crow was plagued by nightmares. At first, they were simply reliving the memory of the night of Pearson’s death, which was always terrifying. He woke up sweating every time, the feel of fire on his skin and smoke in his lungs. But it only got worse as the dreams continued.

Eventually, they morphed into something else entirely, but always involving one constant: fire. In some, Crow was trapped where Pearson was, burning and calling for help, though no one ever came. In one, it was Martha’s orphanage that was swallowed by fire, Crow waking up as he lunged into the flames in an attempt to save anyone he could. There were others that he woke up from remembering nothing but the sensation of being incinerated.

The worst by far were the ones involving Shinji. He would come home to see their home on fire, Shinji trapped in a similar way to Pearson, telling him to get the kids and get out. Even though Crow was an adult in all these dreams, he was always frozen to his spot, unable to move or help Shinji. Forced to watch his loved ones suffer while he stood by, unable to help.

Tonight, he was awoken by a particularly violent nightmare. He was gasping for breath and curled in on himself, clutching the sheets to his chest. His skin felt clammy as he tried to return his breathing to normal, focusing his eyes on a spot on the wall. In his panicked state, he forgot that he was not the bed’s only occupant, until another voice quietly whispered his name.

Crow started at the sound, before rolling over to face his boyfriend. It was one of the few nights per week where Shinji was able to stay over, which would usually delight Crow; but now he wished that Shinji wasn’t here to see him in this state. “Did I wake you up? Sorry…” Crow mumbled, still shaken.

Shinji didn’t say anything, just pulled Crow into a warm hug. Crow pressed his head against Shinji’s bare chest, finding comfort in the rhythmic beating of his heart. They stayed like this for what felt like hours, enjoying the silence and the very presence of each other. Once Crow had calmed down, Shinji spoke up quietly.

“I know you’ve been having nightmares for a while now, Crow. And I can tell you haven’t been sleeping very much.” His tone was gentle and sad as he spoke. “Do you want to talk about it? I can’t promise it will help, but I’m really worried about you. I’d do anything in my power to help you, Crow. I love you so much and it hurts to see you so upset.”

Still listening to Shinji’s heartbeat, Crow considered the offer. It was always hard for him to talk about the less than savory parts of his past, even to Shinji. But the possibility of relief from these constant nightmares was extremely appealing… In the end, Crow decided to take Shinji up on the offer, staying cuddled in his arms as he did.

He retold the entire event to Shinji, sparing no details. He took long pauses, not because he couldn’t remember, but because he couldn’t get the words out. Throughout his story, Shinji continued to embrace him tightly and make small noises of affirmation, letting Crow know that he was awake and listening. Afterwards, he went into detail about the nightmares themselves, even the ones that involved Shinji. He felt Shinji’s arms around him tighten, holding him closer as a reminder that he was still here.

“No wonder you were so bothered a few weeks ago…” Shinji said understandingly. “I’m so sorry you’ve been shouldering this burden alone, Crow. But I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere, okay? I’ll always be here when you wake up, so you’ll know everything’s alright. I’ll be right here next to you…” Shinji trailed off, resting his head on top of Crow’s.

Crow smiled, relaxing greatly. Shinji’s words had proved to be greatly comforting. Slowly, Crow drifted back off to sleep; and for the first time in two weeks, he had a peaceful sleep.

Shinji put in his two weeks’ notice the next morning.


End file.
